Ever booked a romantic hotel and wondered if they slip something special into the room? Maybe you’ve seen memes or heard stories about hotels leaving chocolates, rose petals, or even condoms on the bed. The truth? Some do. But it’s not as universal-or as dramatic-as pop culture makes it seem.
What Is an Intimacy Kit, Anyway?
An intimacy kit is a small bundle of items meant to spark romance or make a stay more comfortable for couples. It’s not a standard feature in every hotel. You won’t find it in a business hotel in downtown Chicago or a budget chain in Minneapolis. But in places built for romance-think seaside suites, mountain lodges, or boutique resorts-it’s a real thing.
These kits usually include things like:
- Condoms (often flavored or ultra-thin)
- Lubricant (water-based, rarely silicone)
- Disposable underwear or robes
- Massage oil or scented candles
- Chocolates or a bottle of sparkling wine
- A handwritten note from the staff
Some hotels go further: a few in Italy leave silk scarves, others in Bali include jasmine petals and incense. In New Zealand, romantic lodges near Queenstown sometimes add local honey or Manuka tea. It’s not about the items themselves-it’s about the thought.
Which Hotels Actually Offer Them?
Not every luxury hotel has intimacy kits. In fact, most don’t. They’re reserved for properties that market themselves as romantic getaways. You’ll typically find them in:
- Boutique hotels with private hot tubs or balconies
- Overwater bungalows in the Maldives or Bora Bora
- Historic inns with fireplaces and clawfoot tubs
- Spa resorts that offer couples’ treatments
- Properties that charge premium rates for ‘romance packages’
Big chains like Marriott, Hilton, or Holiday Inn rarely offer them. Their focus is on consistency, not customization. But smaller operators? They know their guests want to feel special. A hotel in Sedona, Arizona, for example, includes a star chart and a guide to the best stargazing spots. A lodge in the Scottish Highlands leaves a flask of single malt and a wool blanket.
If you’re looking for one, don’t assume it’s there. Ask when you book. Say something like: “Do you offer any special touches for couples?” That’s often enough to trigger a response. Many hotels will customize a small welcome gift if you mention it’s for a proposal, anniversary, or honeymoon.
Why Don’t All Hotels Offer Them?
There are a few practical reasons.
First, liability. Some hotels avoid condoms outright because they don’t want to be seen as encouraging sexual activity. Even though that’s ridiculous-people have sex in hotel rooms regardless-it’s still a concern for legal teams.
Second, cost. A $10 bottle of lube and a $5 chocolate box might seem small, but multiply that by 20 rooms a night, 365 days a year, and it adds up. For a hotel with 100 rooms, that’s $73,000 a year just on kits. Most properties would rather spend that on better linens or staff training.
Third, cultural norms. In some countries, openly providing condoms feels inappropriate. In others, it’s expected. In the U.S. and Western Europe, it’s common in high-end romantic spots. In parts of Asia or the Middle East, you’re far more likely to find a note saying, “Please request amenities at the front desk,” if you ask.
What If You Don’t Want One?
Not everyone wants an intimacy kit. Maybe you’re celebrating a quiet anniversary and prefer silence over chocolate. Maybe you’re bringing your own supplies. Maybe you’re just not into it.
That’s fine. Most hotels won’t leave the kit out unless you’ve requested it or booked a romance package. If you do see one and you’d rather not have it, call housekeeping. They’ll remove it without judgment. No one’s keeping score.
Some guests even ask for extra condoms or lube to be left in the room. It’s not weird. It’s practical. And hotels that cater to couples expect those requests.
How to Spot a Hotel That Might Have One
You don’t have to guess. Here’s how to tell if a place is likely to offer intimacy kits:
- Check the website. Look for phrases like “romantic escape,” “honeymoon package,” or “couples’ retreat.”
- Read recent reviews. Search for “surprise,” “gift,” or “romantic touch.” Guests often mention it.
- Look at photos. If the room has a tub for two, a fireplace, or a balcony with a view, it’s more likely to have extras.
- Call the front desk. Ask directly: “Do you provide any complimentary items for couples?”
- Book a package. Many hotels bundle wine, chocolates, and a late checkout into a “Romance Package.” Those almost always include something intimate.
Pro tip: If you’re booking for a special occasion, mention it. “We’re celebrating our 10th anniversary” or “This is our honeymoon” often unlocks upgrades or little surprises-even if they don’t advertise them.
The Real Secret: It’s About the Experience
Intimacy kits are just one small part of what makes a romantic hotel feel special. The real magic is in the details: the way the lights are dimmed at night, the fresh flowers on the table, the quiet that comes when the hallway is empty, the staff who remember your name.
A hotel in Devonport, New Zealand, where I live, leaves a single white rose on the pillow for every guest staying in the seaside suite. No note. No kit. Just a rose. Guests cry when they see it. Not because of the flower-but because someone noticed they came for something more than a bed.
So if you’re looking for romance, don’t just search for “intimacy kits.” Search for places that care. Places where the staff know your stay isn’t just about sleeping-it’s about connecting.
What to Pack Instead
Even if a hotel offers a kit, it’s smart to bring your own. Why? Because you know what you like.
- Bring your preferred lubricant-some hotel brands use ones that sting or dry out.
- Take a favorite candle or essential oil. The ones they leave can smell like fake vanilla.
- Wear something that makes you feel confident. A robe, lingerie, or even just a soft sweater.
- Download a playlist ahead of time. Not every hotel has good speakers or Spotify access.
- Bring a small gift. A book, a photo, a note. The best surprises aren’t bought-they’re made.
The best romantic moments don’t come from a hotel’s gift basket. They come from the two of you, in a quiet room, choosing to be present.
Do all romantic hotels provide intimacy kits?
No. Intimacy kits are not standard. They’re offered by a small number of boutique, luxury, or romance-focused hotels-usually those that market themselves as couples’ retreats. Most chain hotels, budget stays, or business-oriented properties don’t provide them.
Are intimacy kits free?
Usually, yes-if they’re included as part of a romantic package or as a welcome gesture. But if you request one after booking a standard room, some hotels may charge a small fee or require you to upgrade your room. Always ask upfront.
Can I request an intimacy kit if it’s not advertised?
Absolutely. Call the front desk before or during your stay and ask, “Do you offer any complimentary items for couples?” Many hotels will surprise you-even if they don’t list it online. Mentioning it’s for a special occasion like an anniversary or honeymoon increases your chances.
What if I don’t want an intimacy kit?
Just call housekeeping and ask them to remove it. No explanation needed. Most hotels will be happy to take it away. You’re not being awkward-you’re being clear about your preferences, and that’s perfectly normal.
Are intimacy kits sanitary?
The items inside are typically sealed and single-use. Condoms and lubricants come in factory packaging. Disposable underwear is wrapped. But if you’re concerned, bring your own. You know your body best, and it’s always safer to use products you trust.
Do hotels in New Zealand offer intimacy kits?
Some do, especially in places like Queenstown, Wanaka, or the Bay of Islands-where romantic getaways are popular. Boutique lodges and spa resorts are more likely to include them. Chain hotels in Auckland or Wellington rarely do. Always check with the property directly.
Final Thought: It’s Not About the Kit
Intimacy kits are a nice touch. But they’re not the reason you remember a stay. What sticks with you is the quiet moment when your partner smiles at you across the room, the way the candlelight catches their eyes, the silence that feels like music.
Hotels can give you chocolates, wine, and condoms. But they can’t give you connection. That’s yours to create.